Author: betheman2016

      As you have read before, I know exercise is your best selection for self improvement .  There are physical, mental and health benefits once you establish a good routine. Whatever you choose to do, as the commercial says ” just do it ” . Certain activities will achieve greater success for your needs but all will help create the new, powerful ,  masculine man you are becoming. 

   So Sunday night I was having this very conversation over a cigar with my friend Pete ,whose opinion I trust. As we discussed the merit of exercise, he noted that the key was always to remain active. I always stress consistency ,  because it helps create other good habits but as long as you keep moving, literally and figuratively , you maintain youth and strength .  

   The stereotypes of weightlifter versus runner are pretty accurate if you let it. But if your workout includes strength and flexibility ,  your benefits multiply .  But most important is to keep the blood flowing, your muscles limber and breaking a sweat once in a while. The satisfaction of a good workout carries on for the rest of the day and provides the body a good night sleep because it needs to shut down and recover . 

   And that natural flow allows the body to relax and put forth a more focused effort because it is not straining or fighting against itself. As the bodies motions become more fluid so do our thoughts. This is the runners high, the zen martial arts provide and why yoga can be done as long as you desire. Which truly is the essence of exercise, your quality of life improves because you are improving all aspects of your life.

    The most important quality of any man is confidence. You can buy an expensive car, wear a designer suit and invest in a great watch but if you are lacking self esteem, you just wasted your money. This is the key elements to all of your success .  My main purpose for this blog is to create a better version of you, not change or teach you how to fake it with cheap lines or smoke and mirrors .  But the foundation of all I share goes back to developing your confidence . By giving you the tools to improve your current situation ,  your confidence will grow because we are now aware of the areas that can benefit and are now the better because of this. All of our success ,  love, professional ,  social are byproducts ,  not goals. However, they can only be attained by improving ourselves and totally believing in the great person we truly are. 

   Yet, there still are guys in great shape, sharp dressers, and attractively groomed who still lack confidence .  And there are out of shape, bland clothed men who get women and are still liked and respected. Is this totally against all I preach ? Absolutely not, this confirms what I say. But the better you present yourself, the better you feel  , the easier it is to believe .  These positive reinforcements will ; show others you are not plain , average, common, and more importantly show yourself that you have progressed , improved and upgraded. So in order to not only looking good, you must think good. When you walk, talk, think and act positively it conveys a stronger message than any words do. 

    But it isn’t always that easy. And even though you are doing all the right things ( like following this blog ) there may be that missing element .  So smile, not faking but actually appreciate the man you are becoming . This not only shows the world you are living a good life but gives you that spike of positive energy. People respond to a smile, a good handshake, a kind word. Everyone likes to be treated well and you will now be the source. And as the environment around you improves, so does your quality of life ,  which is what success truly is. 

    As I have mentioned before, exercise provides a major boost to your image, mentally as well as physically. Your posture , energy and muscle tone improve . However there are limits to all our gains , determined mostly by genetics. But that doesn’t mean that the image we are creating stops there. Our attire greatly contribute to that visual, if used properly . We can greatly influence that look, positively as well as negative . 

   The key is to maximize our strengths, and minimize our weaknesses . So we must make sure that the eye is drawn to the body parts we want. And we then accentuate our masculinity .  

   The silhouette that is desired is the upside down triangle . Wide at the shoulders, sloping inwards to the waist. And that must also influence what we choose to wear. Fit is our # 1 priority ,  but the fit has to accentuate that look. We can’t have our clothes too tight because it will draw more attention to you fat areas or how thin you are. What I find just as bad or even worse is when men dress too big and loose. This gives no form so the heavy guy looks fatter and the thin guy is just a pencil neck and tiny wrists. The real crime goes to the guy in shape who loses that edge buried under fabric. He is now wasting his advantage by hiding a major weapon. 

   So you are now working out, eating properly but no visual changes. A jacket with shoulder pads raise the triangle on your body and also keeps the eyes up on that level. This not only widens your top but creates the illusion of difference between chest and waist. There is a term for this called the Adonis Golden Ratio .  According to this rule, your shoulders should be 1.6 times wider than the waist. So if your waist is 28, the shoulders should measure 45 in order to meet this ideal. This equation was developed by studying ancient statues, natural athletes and models, all based on the concept of most appealing to females. But you may never reach that goal, so by creating the illusion of strong wide shoulders and a slim solid waiste , you appear more Adonis like. And giving her this impression of athleticism masculinity will give you more of an advantage to conquer her.  Then she can find out what a great guy you are even if we are just as shallow as they are !

   The fastest way to improve yourself is bodybuilding. Now you don’t have to look like Mr. Olympia ( actually a bad idea for the average guy to try ) but just working on your muscles make a huge difference. I use the term bodybuilding because I feel we are all bodybuilders , whether we lift weights or eat hamburgers non stop, we contribute to the body we develop. Exercise is the quickest and easiest way to create a positive change in ourselves. This combined with a proper diet , based on your goals, whether to lose or gain weight  is something anyone can do and see results. As your physique improves, your posture , how you appear in your clothes and positive attitude grow also.

   What I have found is that if we want to increase our muscle development, supplementation is needed. However 90% of the products sold in vitamin shops are crap. Most of your dietary needs can be supplied with a good diet. All those super charged supplements are all hype, or make such a small difference that they’re really a waste of money. In order for our muscles to grow, we must add more protein in our diet. You can eat more meat if you choose but that is not always so easy. You have to cook more which can also add more fat, which if you are planning on losing weight, does not help. Or the other option which I recommend is a protein powder for post workout shakes at a minimum. They say take 2 drinks a day every day but unless your on a consistent lifting regimen, that may be too many additional calories. But after a heavy ( not necessarily weight lifting but calisthenics, isometric or any combination of them which is what I do ) workout, a protein shake feeds your muscles to aid their growth.

  The other supplement that is actually proven to work is creatine. Regular use of creatine improves your workouts, recovery and development. The key is to stay hydrated, since the function of this is to fill your cells with more water. People claim they look bloated and your muscles stay soft and fat but that is more a poor diet than anything else.When used properly there is a big improvement . I would recommend you add this to your workouts a little while after you have established and are following a routine. All other diets and supplements are more placebo.

   When athletes are shown selling all those super hero products, they are just earning a check, not letting you in on a secret. And the same way they are pocketing $ , if you fall for the hype, you will end up peeing your money away, along with all those extra vitamins, amino acids and minerals.

   A big part of your look is your hair. Great hair stands out just as horrible hair does. And the advice I will give even goes if you are bald. The key is maintain. Don’t go too long between haircuts because instead of just taking care of your look, they will be forced to recreate it. The same goes to a bald head, keep it shaved and sunscreen when outdoors ( my mantra) and you will always look clean. However time and money don’t always allow this so this is where you can make a difference.

   As your hair starts to grow out it doesn’t develop evenly. So if you are trying to stretch out the time between haircuts , you have to control the appearance . If your hair grows faster on top or the sides, you have to master the use of gel or wax. While you don’t want it to look like a helmet, you need it to hold . An important thing to remember is to wash frequently now, because you cannot allow this to build up. That can do more damage to your hair than a bad look for another week.

  The other sign is around your ears and your neck. A clean look at these spots will keep your image tight because those are 2 areas that stand out. Here is where you need an electric razor with an edge cut on it or a pair of hair clippers, if you have. Your neck can be shaved with a plain razor but you can’t work the ears. So if this is all you can do, pay attention to this on a daily basis.

   Now your ears are a big difference , especially since once the hair grows out it sticks out. this changes the shape of your head , which now affects the total look. Here you have to keep the original look of your haircut, not changing or improving.  That is where the biggest risk exists, because you are not a professional. But a little improvement goes a long way. But these are temporary fixes, nothing will compare to a clean cut. And even better is the feeling when you walk out, knowing you are on point and eveything is going well. Your stock grows 10x, most importantly to yourself.

  A smile conveys a strong message. A relaxed, confident, comfortable man can smile in any situation. People trust a smile, eye contact and a good handshake. Women notice your teeth as soon as you get close enough for further evaluation ! So your teeth should be a subject of great attention to you.

      Your smile is a big part of non verbal communication. Where your general appearance is seen at a distance, this is judged up close . Now any details, positive or not are noticed. You can cover up or downplay other body parts but your mouth is watched as soon as you speak. Women place a lot of value on your teeth. We have all been with someone with something stuck between their teeth and it is all you keep looking at. Just like horrible breath, it takes away all focus on your words and spotlights this terrible flaw. Most women consider this a deal breaker, since the last thing they want is to kiss a dirty ,smelly mouth.

      Therefore it must be a very important part of your daily regimen. Teeth take time to brighten and shine so you must have patience, but are very noticeable once you progress even a slight bit. However as your mouth improves, so will your ability to smile more often because you will be more confident with your teeth. And as you smile more, it will be noticed more. Just as your muscles growing affect other aspects of you , so will your teeth. But just like dieting and weightlifting are based on consistency , not intensity, so is your oral hygiene. Of course  regular visits to your dentist are extremely important. But as we eat , drink , smoke and even chew gum, it affects what goes on in your mouth. I do many of the harmful things they say to avoid, I drink lots of black coffee, smoke cigars and like red wine but I regularly get compliments about my teeth , partly because I smile a lot.

       One of the basic things for all health is drink plenty of water. And make sure you brush your teeth properly. Brush after every meal, change your toothbrush with your dentist visits ( every 6 months), and floss at night. Now that keeps you good clean and healthy but we are striving to go beyond average. In order to get that impressive attractive smile regular toothpaste isn’t good enough. I have been using Colgate Optic White Platinum ( no sponsor, just anecdotal ) and am very pleased with results. Coffee and cigars have been a major part of my diet for too many years so my teeth were yellowing . In order to bring them back to a basic white, I had to get a whitening solution. I ordered a product with a peroxide solution that went in a tray for my teeth .  After a few applications there was a noticeable difference. So it took a while but my teeth drastically improved and I continue to use that treatment. 

   As all your great qualities are improving, some stand out even more than others. And as opposed to every other guy out there, you will now become more attractive and approachable. Your teeth will now become your strong point. Now when you get close and flash your smile you are no longer walking into her scrutiny but she has now entered the ring with a predator . Be prepared to bite !

    Originally I was planning on writing on sneakers. As I have grown fashion forward I am only wearing sneakers to workout or driving to work where I switch to my work boots ( steel toe). But trying not to be a sneaker snob ( except for Vans ), I did some research on Tumblr and noticed something else. I saw too many hoodies and am also very opinionated about those also. I see too many grown men wearing hoodies, the sweatshirt type with pockets in front. Those fail in 2 negative categories for my stylistically. First they are too loose and formless so your body is not present and more so the ones with writing on them seem too childish. Not that we should not be youthful, but the image we are creating is one of mature, cool confidence, so brand, team or hero worship shouldn’t be upfront. You should never have the same wardrobe as your girlfriends son.

   However , as I looked for pics that showed what I was looking for, I found the image on top. That style really works for him, not just because he is young. It has everything I thought I disliked , although not for me but it fits. I wanted to delete it but it stayed on my mind because as  certain as I am about this topic it still works ! So I looked for more pics to prove my opinion is absolute and then found this one.

Once again , a great look that I myself can wear ( except with boots or even loafers) but contrary to my fashion sense. As I studied more I see it is a front zippered type but still a hoodie. So what I realize is it is worn as outer garment, like a sports jacket or cardigan , which is my personal style. And the other pic has the hoodie under a denim jacket, the opposite of this but there is 1 big common element. They are both used as layers, a major component of any great look.

    The hoodie itself isnt the main part of the look. As a shirt, the hoodie is not what one should wear but as part of the package it is a great active look , not as the main ingredient. While it won’t be a common thing I would wear , except for work as a layer of warmth if you feel it fits your personal style , go for it. As comfortable as they are , you should be just as comfortable in a blazer, sports jacket or cardigan. Because the clothes represent you , not the other way around.

   One of the greatest MMA champions of all time is Fedor Emilianenko. He was known as ” The last Emperor ” and dominated the heavyweight division for years. And like most fighters , continued competing way beyond his prime and suffered unnecessary losses. But what was always so impressive about him was that he always found a way to win. No matter what style of opponent he battled, he never lost focus and achieved victories. What I later found out was that he trained the same exact way for every fight. No matter the size or style of the opponent, he did the same exact workouts in the gym. He was so confident in his abilities that it did not matter. Fedor knew he was the best so if he entered the ring at peak condition he would not lose. 

  And that is the approach we should all take with ourselves.  At this stage in life, we know our strengths and weaknesses.  Be confident in what we have and downplay those other areas. But being realistic with ourselves isn’t a restraint . It allows me to see things as they truly are. Being short limits lots of slim leggy styles, but since I know that already,  I won’t waste time studying things that don’t compliment. Like Fedor, I cannot do anything that doesn’t contribute to victory. 

  This same attitude has to be used with diet and exercise.  If I need to lose weight,  then my diet and workouts have to be accordingly.  If I  need to increase calories, my protein should go up, not donuts and soda. My sleep must increase if my energy levels are low. Our thoughts have to be positive and commited to the process. That is the only way to succeed in creating the warrior we wish to be. 

   So whether climbing in the ring, in your office or going out , if we are prepared physically and mentally our possibilities for success multiply. 

I tend to associate things with that which I know best and am most comfortable with. So everything has a karate connection to me. Whether I am working out, getting dressed or talking about chicks ( my 3 favorite things , oh and a good cigar 3.1 ) it all relates back to the dojo. As an instructor,  fighter and student , the same mindset prevails in all aspects of life. And that is what we all need as we progress as men in this world, clear vision. Your focus is what guides or blinds you , if you allow it.

As an instructor , I show my students technique. I explain , demonstrate and then we drill endlessly until it becomes second nature, and then we practice some more. If you are not beat, drenched in sweat and smiling , I failed as a Sensei. But your growth as a martial artist isn’t in just learning the technique. As you continue to develop, you take that basic technique that has not nor will ever change and adjust and adapt it to your particular style, attitude and ability. I should not have a room full of clones, but have provided the instruction for you to take what I was taught by my Sensei Deluca, and create yourself . That is the art of karate, not just be a copy, because we are all unique individuals.

That thinking is whats needed in order to grow and succeed in our journey as men. We cannot be copies of anyone else because that would be the worst lie we live. Actors, fashion lines , magazines can influence you but must not rule your choices. That world is not reality. Actors are dressed by professionals, who customize every item and hair on their bodies. So unless you are exactly like that person, or look you admire, you cannot copy . What you can do is take an item, Jacket for instance and add it to your wardrobe. But try it on and feel comfortable in it, not just look good. The big secret of dressing well is to be so comfortable, relaxed and confident that you shine through the clothes, even if it is really what everyone first notices. If you do not “feel ” how you are dressed, that stands out even more. So just as my students work a front snap kick until it just happens for them, so must you adapt to your new upgrade. Which is also why I suggested just 1 article of clothing, a jacket, dress shirt or whatever the new you is adding to your arsenal. Get comfortable by wearing, moving and getting looks of admiration , jealousy or laughter ( jealous bastards ). I get a lot of comments saying, “You coming back from a date” , ” Why so dressed up ” or ” Where are you going afterwards ” when in reality I just like looking as good as possible with being too overdressed. Is it vanity , arrogance, being too conceited ? You owe me 10 push ups just for asking ( your muscles will thank me later).

As your eye for style grows, so must your risk taking. But we have to always be realistic with ourselves.A look on me will not always be to your taste, even if we are twins. You take, twist , shape pound whatever you feel is right for you and make it your own. There is no right or wrong, if you’re truly feeling it.  Just listen to your Sensei , study and practice what you are shown and get out there and kick ass.  Make sure your belt and shoes and watch match. In my dojo everything matters, and that chick checking you out has already noticed.

 Our nutrition is a very important matter. It affects our appearance and more important , performance. So although there are tons of material out about diet, it should be handled in a simple process. What we put in is directly related to what we get out. Our food and drinks are key to health and attitude because when we are functioning at 100% , we also can act at our true potential.

  However we should not stress at what and how we eat. Nutrition is basically protein , carbs and vegetables ( my breakdown, not a nutritionist ). With those 3 categories we can maintain not only a healthy diet , but can achieve a strong masculine presence. Any exercise program will only succeed if the diet and sleep are equally enforced. Protein is the main factor in muscle building and maintaining a lean body . So whatever your goals are , protein is the essential foundation. Do not go crazy with your choices of meat or fish because fat content in meat is an important necessity . Eggs should be a big part of your protein intake, yolk and all. Depending on your goals, weight reduction or growth, your portions will be determined by that factor.  Now the most important issue is your carbohydrate intake. While your carbs provide energy for your daily processes, if not utilized, will turn to fat. So as you are working towards your ideal body, learning the quantities your body need is an experiment in self control. Because carbs are also a very basic staple of every ethnic group. Being hispanic, rice is part of practically every meal growing up. Pasta , potatoes and bread, are most ethnic groups common carbs, but also what as we age give us that belly as our activity and metabolic levels slow down. So we have to be very careful about how much we eat and consuming these early in the day, when we can easily burn them. Don’t go sodium crazy unless you have an illness, but limit your sugar since that does affect you in many ways.

  As long as we are totally conscious of how important our diet is to reaching our goals, the desired body can be achieved. Once we start eating right, and exercising regularly, the development of the ultimate male we have within us is becoming  reality. Our confidence is now reinforced as our body improves. We are becoming more attractive, powerful and masculine. That is heavily influenced by exercise, diet and sleep, since our testosterone development is affected by those factors. But the stronger we get , internally and externally , the greater our self image improves. You cannot grow in the eyes of others if you havent done the work for yourself. The discipline and the results of a proper diet will be a key part because as we believe and achieve this new lifestyle, it allows all other growth to follow. Like a fighter training for battle, all parts are required for victory. We cannot allow failure in any part because the new man does not weaken before any challenge. That was the weak insecure past fellow we left behind.  We have to be totally positive and focused because we have chosen this path. We already know where the easy path leads. And I refuse to let that happen again, when it is all within our reach.

Nowadays, anyone and everyone can claim any type of fame. Reality stars are celebrities for being themselves but better exposure than most others. With social media we have many famous people that nobody knows, yet that doesn’t stop the machine.

•  Last Friday I went to a great rooftop lounge for a friend , E.Santos cigars , and had a great time with my son and friends. There was a photographer and DJ Nino Brown, and it was a great night of cigars liquor and incredible people.  The following Monday, I get a message from Instagram congratulating me. As I follow the link , I then get tons of texts and messages . Cigarbossoftheday selected a pic of me with my son to be their Boss of the Day. Now the fame and endorsements are non stop, however I had to get back to work and then go shopping right after so my 15 minutes of fame were extinguished like the Olympic torch.

What I want to point out is that I was wearing a $12 H &M shirt, Sears jeans, a watch from Groupon and black chukka boots. Armed with a tight haircut, a close clean shave, doused in Obsession and biceps built with rubber bands, I came I saw and I conquered. Looking good, feeling good, my presence was positive and confident. So in reality , this recognition means nothing, for me and all my friends it’s a great sign of love and warmth . With minimum effort  you can get maximum results.

Remember the feeling of driving a new car ? The smell, looking at the interior, enjoying the smooth ride.  That feeling of comfort,  confidence.  It’s the same as when you walkout with a good haircut,  a nice fitting suit,  the sensation of a good workout.  All things we can do any day. The key is starting the change.  Treat yourself to a good shirt. Get a full 8 hour night sleep  to recharge and recover. All these little things add up and construct your new attitude.  If every week we do one of these things, by the end of the month we are creating a new mindset because we have externally added positive changes.  As we start feeling better,  looking better,  you begin to think and believe in a more positive manner.  Just start.

All our lives we took care of all our responsibilities. We went from boyfriend, husband , father, employee, mortgage owner. But the one person lost in the process is you. So, we got old, got fat, or lost the body we once had and now have medicine and pains to live with. As we fall into the comfortable slumber of aging, we lose more than just our physical condition.  But that doesn’t have to stay like that.  One you realize that this current state is so disappointing it is time to take action. And the first step in the right direction is you being here. It is time to be the man you one were, should have been or want to be.

As we grow older the years should not age you but used to grow. All the experience we gathered throughout time is a plus not a disadvantage. Everything is useful, success and failure, it all depends on your perspective.