I was just telling a friend about the Anthony Joshua fight. Although he did win and he made the necessary adjustments, I felt it wasn’t a success. Defeat is a rude awakening. It exposes you to flaws which you either ignored or were totally unaware of. But defeat also challenges you to improve or cower in your own tears.
This opportunity allows you to analyze, grow, and recreate into a better version of yourself. This is also how one has to reflect on rejection. Whether applying for a job or when approaching a woman, there is always the chance of rejection.
This however is not defeat. If you are rejected there are only two reasons why this could happen. One is that there is a flaw in what you offer and needs to be corrected. But that is probably something you are already aware of. So, like Joshua did, you improve and continue.
But what I believe is that if you know you have presented what you believe is the best that you are, then the failure in your goal has nothing to do with you. It could be them. The employer had someone else in mind so no matter what you did it wasn’t going to make a difference. And if it is a woman you are attracted to it is probably her. You may just not be her type. She may like tall, dark, fat, or whatever her preference is. If you know you are at your best, you cannot blame yourself or even her. She might not even be aware of her type, so you have to be ready to move on. Not gloat, or get depressed or blame.
I know there is nothing wrong with me. How could she not find me attractive ! Maybe she is involved with someone. Or it could be a fresh break-up. All things that are out of your control. But who you are is within your control. So you must keep yourself on point all the time. Not for anyone else but yourself. The great heavyweight champion Emelianenko always trained the same for every fight. He believed when at his best, no one could defeat him . His trainers adjusted sparring and strategy to opponent, but he was always the same.
That is where you must believe you are. I can’t be taller, rich or anything that I am not. But that doesn’t matter. As long as I can be the best me , it is all I need because this is all I have. And it is more than good enough to succeed.
Be The Man 